Potty Training Take 2

The other day I was sitting on a small step stool in our powder room (do not let the formal references go unnoticed) while my youngest (also my 2^nd) was sitting on the potty. She had already peed. And she was pretending to try to go poop. And it occurred to me, when first children potty train it’s easy to see it as an accomplishment. For the child and the parent. I think on some level if a child potty trains “early” we are like “wow, WE did it.” As if we did anything.

But then you have more children it becomes about so much more than bragging about how smart your child is for doing what the rest of us do every day. It becomes about saving money and not having to clean up diapers. And when it is a last child it is like a lottery to buy concert tickets…you want it soooooo bad but it’s totally out of your control. Getting there first has nothing to do with whether you will get to buy the first tickets. And if you want it too badly you are setting yourself up.

I remember NOT wanting to potty train Riley. She is a strong-willed child and I dreaded the battle that would most definitely ensue. As luck would have it, there was no training involved. It was more like presenting opportunity, celebrating and encouraging her to repeat previous behavior. Riley’s story follows…Around 18 months we bought a potty chair. We let Riley go on it when she was interested and I spent many a days reading her stories while she sat there and did nothing. I know she peed on it less than a handful of times around 2 years old. I started to feel angst after she turned 2 because I was thinking “oh we are going to have to potty train. I feel like this will be a painful experience. For me.” And then she went pee a few more times. And then I went to Maryland to visit family. She told Chris she wanted to wear underwear. And she did. The End.

Sure, there’s more to the story but basically that was it. She wanted to and we obliged. She did not need to be reminded or coaxed into going…she would just go. I told Chris then (b/c I was pregnant)…”Do not expect it to be like this with the next one.”

Fast forward about 2 years to Reegan, awesome and easy going little child. Two or three months before Reegan turned two we pulled out the potty chair. She would sit on it here and there, mostly before bath while Riley went on the big “potty” (i.e. toilet). She even pooped on this thing a couple of times for our nanny Jaclyn. But I knew not to get too excited because I. want. It. Too. bad. But then she started peeing on the potty. Yay progress. Except if we don’t put her on the potty she is just as happy to pee in her diaper. And don’t even TALK to her about pooping on the potty. She just does not want to do it. But then this week I caught her at the right moment and she did it. She pooped on the potty. Apparently she likes to be alone, have a moment of privacy. Which makes complete sense to me (and my nose J). So we celebrated. We danced, we had chocolate (oh yeah) and juice. And we wore underwear with Dora’s face on it (ok only ONE of us did this). But then she woke up from nap and did not want to wear underwear. A couple of days later I again caught her at the right moment and she again pooped. We again celebrated. But then when I went to get her after nap, she told me to go out. I discovered later it is so she can poop in her diaper. And now she poops every time she is in her crib – before nap, after nap, before bed, when she wakes in the morning…anything to avoid pooping on that dreaded potty. If it is the middle of the day and not close to any crib time she will find a quiet spot and do her business and then proudly announce “I poop in my diapa (also known as diaper).” Oh yeah. I tried not to want it so badly.